Thursday, April 4, 2013


As we are further and further into this horrific sleep regression - or as I like to think - my new reality of having a baby latched onto me for most of the night - I started to think 'Why me'.  Why couldn't I get one of those magic sleeping babies? What have I done to make her sleep like this? 

Then I got a big dose of perspective.  It usually happens through the blogging community when I read of someone's failed IVF, or miscarriage.  I become thankful I'm out of those trenches and have my beautiful little girl. 

This week's perspective came in a form of an email sent out to family by hubby's cousin.  He was the messenger for another cousin stating that their baby, only 3 weeks old, died on the weekend from an unknown heart failure.  They had no idea anything was wrong. 

This breaks my heart.  This is their second child.  They were so happy the last time I saw them. 

The service for immediate family was yesterday.  We sent them an edible arrangement.  What else can you do?   We aren't overly close to this family (funerals/weddings and the odd visit here and there) but this loss is taking its toll on me.

All of a sudden being up all night nursing my baby has a whole other meaning.  At least I have a baby to nurse.  Loving and nursing my baby isn't doing anything wrong.

I've been holding her a little more close to me these days. 

My heart aches for this family.  They are such amazing people - I can't imagine what this will do to them.

This is too close to home for me :(


  1. I am so sorry. What a horrilbe loss. Not long ago you posted a blog titled 'shes gone.' When I saw it on my feed, my heart dropped, I was so afraid someone had loss. we are also dealing with a regression and I know its hard, but its sucha lucky problem.

  2. It is times like these that really do make you see the beauty in your life. I couldn't imagine losing a baby at that stage of life...well I can and it is very painful. I hope she gets through this. Hug your girl and know that you will figure this out. It will get better if you work on it.