Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Attachment Parenting - a reflection

Hubby and I are full-fledged attachment parents.  Breast feeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping (granola-crunchy hippie type) parents.  This wasn't fully a choice we decided upon before having H, it just came about as issue arose and we needed to find solutions.  We do not believe in CIO - after doing research and KNOWING OUR DAUGHTER we realize it isn't for us.  For some, I can see it working.  For us, not so much.  See H is a Duracell Bunny Baby and she will not just fall asleep with some gentle guidance.  On Friday, I had the stomach flu and had to be in the washroom for almost 2 hours (it was nasty).  She SCREAMED the entire time (even in daddy's arms) as she was tired and needed me to help her go to sleep.  Her cries didn't stop as the books said they would.  She didn't slow down...she kept on screaming (as she does in the car).  I eventually was able to nurse her - but then when I had to go to the washroom again she woke up and screamed for another 30 min until I came back to bed.  It was rough.  See we know that she is the way she is and that it would take some drastic measures to get her to sleep on her own. This is hard for us...and is a source of contention all the time. I am ready to try some of these measures at least 3 days of the week, and hubby refuses.  He feels that the research shows it would do more harm then good (I agree with him...I'm just exhausted).  AP is natural and for us it just makes sense.  Luckily, living in Canada we have a year off to be able to stay home with our babies.  I don't think it would be possible to be a working mom and an AP parent. 

Reading other blogs this week about the return of Aunt Flow and ovulation cycles has me thinking - I don't have any idea when my period will return - but it doesn't matter cause the stars have to align just so for us to have sex!  It isn't because H is in our bed - that isn't the issue. We have other beds in our house.  Its because she needs to comfort suck ALL NIGHT LONG.  I am too exhausted to fight this need (but getting to the point where I really want it to stop) and have no idea on HOW to stop it knowing that she is so stubborn (unless we enlist more drastic measures).  AP - for us - is a natural form of birth control LOL.  We don't need to worry about having another baby any time too soon! This is the hardest part. I'm not sure if it is the teething or wonder week or what, but during the day she needs to be in my sight 100 percent of the time.  If I leave her for a moment, she screams bloody murder.  I can't handle it.  So she spends  a lot of her days in the ring sling on my hip.  Napping is still on us as she wont sleep in her bed during the day and if we try and transfer her she wakes up.  I do really want to work on this habit, and am starting to slowly by eliminating the constant movement from her naps.  This is hard though as her naps turn out to be half the length they can be if I were to bounce her the entire time.  I guess it is all a balancing act. If she is well slept and within my sight, H is a very happy little girl.  She loves to be on the ground rolling around and is almost crawling.  She loves to 'sing' and interact with the dogs.  Being with her and seeing how happy she is makes my heart sing and realize deep down, we are doing what's right for her.  

Over all AP is just natural for us - its the do what works philosophy that meets are child's needs.  I have a lot of friends right now with babies and H is definitely the highest needy baby out of all of them.  I see how each baby is different and how different strategies work.  H is not easily fooled by plastic substitutes (bottles or soothers) and really needs her mommy and daddy.  This is okay - it just makes it hard for us to find time for each other.  Hopefully things become easier in time...

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