I need some advice here. I'm loosing my mind - myself and everything that is important to me - with this baby who will not, for the life of her, lie down to sleep by herself unless it is at night after she has nursed herself to sleep lying down with me beside her for a minimum of 2 hours. I need some me time, I need some time with my hubby.
So everyone keeps telling me I should let her cry it out....she wont cry forever they say. Hubby is absolutely opposed...but the more time goes by where I feel like I'm at her beckon call, I'm seriously considering it...but then feel guilty thinking about it.
I need to know....Do you let your baby cry it out? If so...at what age would you let him/her cry it out and for how long? (She is only 10 weeks)
Please ... I need some perspective here!
Help this mommy out!
I was completely opposed to CIO until his sleep associations got so bad that he was constantly sleep deprived and so was I. At 4.5 months he was only sleeping an hour and a half at a time. Get Ferber's book and READ IT, not just the part about sleep training. It makes so much sense and it's probably a lot gentler/more flexible than you or your husband think. I am now a firm believer in this method.
ReplyDeleteI also blogged about it quite a bit, back in Septemberish I think.
I did not do cio (not because I was opposed to it, my LO simply did not need it). However, I want to say that before 10 weeks I was precisely where you are now. I was losing my mind. Then it was as if a light switch changed and she got it. She went from barely sleeping at all, to being a wonderful sleeper. No sleep training, and certainly no crying.
ReplyDeleteWe now (at 4.5 months) do a fuss it out. When I know she is tired but due to over stimulation simply can't or won't fall asleep, we lay her in her bed (we still use an arm reach co-sleeper since she is not yet mobile) and she will often fuss (not full on cry) for a few minutes before passing out.
So I understand your frustration & desperation for some quality time with your husband and just some down time in general, I would say you could start doing the fuss it out program now, but honestly I would not attempt true cry it out until at least 3 months (so a few more weeks).
Can you nurse her for a couple hours not in bed? Like out in the living room with your hubby and the put her down when she is in a deep sleep? Have you tried to change her bedtime routine? Bath, books, nurse?
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Tell me what works! My little one nursed for 4 hour straight voraciously until she conked out at 12 last night. But she's a different age.
Even hard core CIOers say 4 months or 14 lbs, so baby is still a bit young for CIO. I don't have a whole lot to offer other than good for you for thinking about it now, we're at 5.5 months and have regressed so far that he's up every 1.5 hrs all night long...I feel like I'm going to die. Let us know what you figure out!
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit behind you, but my moby wrap saved my sanity. I can bounce around the house not feeling completely confined until baby is SOUNDLY asleep and slip him into his rock n play for a little bit of freedom. I have no advice for night time. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWe have been doing a kind of fuss it out ... we listen to the fussing and if it escalates we go in and try to solve the problem and then go out, like ninjas. I just went in and burped Banana (she has spit up a couple of times so I thought maybe a hidden burp) and then rocked her and left. Hopefully that will hold her. Also, generally my husband is the one to go in and check on the crying babies because they associate me with eating and will sometimes get more riled up when I go in, thinking it's time to eat.
ReplyDeleteI'm also generally strict during the day about falling asleep in their little rocking chairs, crib, stroller, car seat - basically anywhere, just not in my arms. Or if they fall asleep in my arms I will transfer them to somewhere else within 15 minutes. Sometimes it doesn't work :(
I'd say its a little too early. Sometimes when I'm feeling determined to not have him in the wrap I can get him to sleep with (like other have said) him fussing to sleep. In the bouncer or swing with a pacifier and me shushing and having a hand on him. Problem is he only sleep 20-30 minutes like that where as he'll sleep 1-2 hours in the Moby.
ReplyDeleteI also find I can pull my nipple out after he's pretty asleep and he won't wake up... Pacifying for hours makes me mutts. I used to let him do it but not anymore. :-/
I'm not doing CIO and I don't think I could. I'm basically following the little guy's lead at night and take him to the bedroom when I think he's tired enough to fall asleep soon (which is mostly within the same 2-hour time frame each day). We follow the same simple bedtime routine almost every night: get him changed into pajamas, put him in his sleeping bag, some playtime with his butterfly rattle, then I nurse and/or hold him while humming a song and put him back in his bed when he's asleep enough. Two weeks ago, when he turned 3 months, he suddenly was tired enough for bedtime at 8, before then, it was between 10 and midnight.
ReplyDeleteDaytime is a different story, though. He takes the Moby or the stroller for him to sleep longer than 30 mins at a time and without being nursed to sleep. When I put him in his crib he wakes up.