Jessica at Just Smile and Blog struggles with sleep have given me great cause for concern. I fear that my baby is learning - or should I say not learning- good sleep habits where she can put herself to sleep. She relies on me to either: A) Nurse her (at night) in our bed until she is good and sleeping (an hour or more) and she is transferred to her bassinet. B) worn in a moby or ergo and bounced and 'sshed' to sleep. She cannot be transferred out of the carrier or she will wake. Wearer of baby cannot sit down and relax while wearing baby, or she will startle and wake up (we have an exercise ball we use to sit on and 'bounce' her constantly.C) Nursed during the day where I can't unlatch her and have to sit absolutely still and allow her to suckle (this usually doesn't work and she will wake up at some point)
If baby doesn't get naps during the day she is one cranky baby. Her bed-time cues are showing earlier and this means that I have to put her to bed earlier and thus need to go to bed that early myself (or I might as well...)
She wont nap during the day the same way she falls asleep at night.
HOWEVER - she consistently sleeps well at night. I usually get bewteen 5 (on bad nights) and 9 (on rare but amazing nights) of uninterrupted sleep (as long as I go to bed when she does). This is amazing...this is basically unheard of I know. I shouldn't even be complaining about sleep I know...however, is it luck? Our days with the bassinet are numbered (she's getting too big AND it needs to go back so that it can be used by another person -it was borrowed). Once we put her in her crib will her good night sleeping go to shit because she can't hear us sleeping?
I'm torn with sleep training (that have versions of CIO) and the Wait it Out method. I know my daughter is only little for so long and she needs me and needs to trust me. I love Dr Sears and feel that what he has to say about sleep training (or lack there of) make so much sense. If I believe in the WIO method (which goes along with Dr Sears) then why or why am I terrified of nurturing a bad sleeper?
Is it because I am selfish and NEED her to sleep on her own? Because I am loosing my mind every day that passes that she doesn't nap on her own and I have to wear her constantly. That I desire time and intimacy with my husband that doesn't (or hasn't) happened yet since she wont sleep on her own. Or that I just need a break? Right now I 'm the ONLY one who can care for her 100% of the time. Hubby can't because he doesn't have boobs to nurse her when she is cranky. And the thought of leaving her with a grandparent to watch while hubby and I get a night out (or an hour or two) just makes me laugh! It would be impossible! Didn't I sign on for all of this when I wanted so desperately to be a parent? When I shed tears for my lost babies and prayed for a baby. Shouldn't I be grateful I have a good night sleeper and not ask for too much by having a baby who naps during the day?
I have been SO STRESSED out about all this sleep stuff. I am reading and talking to everyone I can and EVERYONE has an opinion. I really don't know what is best....
Hubby and I are attending a sleep workshop next Friday. He is telling me to relax and just wait till then before we start any sort of program. I agree with him, but that doesn't stop me from stressing out to the max about her sleeping. He laughed at me...he tells me we went from an eating crisis to a sleep crisis over night. He is so right.
I guess I just feel guilty because I feel I'm being selfish ... but more importantly I want my baby to get her sleep so she can grow and develop and not be a cranky pants!
Please help me gain some perspective!