Monday, March 3, 2014

Finding a balance

Now that H is finally sleeping better (usually sleeps from 8-4:30/5 am and then goes back to sleep till 6:30/7) I have time for myself.  With this 'free time', I'm finding it hard to find a balance for all the things I want to do, and all the things I need to do, plus spend time with hubby. 

My job is very demanding.  My toddler is very demanding.  I wake up and take care of her, then after I drop her off I have a 20 min reprieve as I drive to work to only deal with people all day long needing the utmost care and attention. I then get another 20 min break as I drive home (with the winter we have had/having the drive isn't a break as its usually a snow-covered/drifty drive) and then I am momma to my toddler until she goes to bed.  Once I get in the door, she demands to nurse.  This nursing session is my favourite as its a wonderful way to reconnect after a day apart.  But, it also means that as soon as I get home I am glued to her for at least half an hour.  Once she lets me free, I have to make dinner, clean-up from dinner, make lunches for hubby and I and bathe her.  All the while dealing with her shannanigans - like tonight where she feels the ground is on fire and filled with man-eating spiders and refuses to let me put her down even for a second to pee.  Hubby helps where he can (makes dinner usually) but she doesn't want anything to do with him some nights.  So by 7:30 when she goes to bed, I am wiped.  I shower in the evenings so I don't have to worry about it in the morning, and usually that's the first time all day where I can unwind and relax.  Now if hubby and I want to have intimacy time (and since we are officially TTC again we aim to do this 3-5x a week...but we aren't likely reaching our goals) this cuts into my evening and desire to veg.  Since H wakes up between 4:30 and 5 - I usually wake up at that time and can't fall asleep. My insomnia is still pretty bad and if I wake up that early I'm usually up for the day.  So by 9:00 I'm exhausted and needing to sleep myself. 

So where do you find time for:
-exercise?  I NEED to get into an exercise regime. I miss it. I need it for my emotional health.  I need it cause I've gained weight from stress eating. I need it to feel good about myself.  I need it to help me sleep.  But when do I go? We have a bike in our basement to use, but I find it hard to even go on that when H clings to me for dear life when I'm on it.  I also can't work out after she goes to bed as its too late for me. 

-reading/watching tv: I love me a good tv veg session.  This is one of the few ways I can turn off my brain and just relax.  Once again...given my job I need this decompression .. but I'm finding it hard.

- see friends -

- blog?

I love my daughter.  I love my husband...but right now my momma duties and wifely duties are trumping my own desires.  I also can't sacrifice sleep for my own needs as I can't function without sleep. 

How does everyone else manage?  I'm blessed that hubby and I are both home by 4 or 4:30 - so we have more 'free' time in the evenings than most.  Yet I'm still feeling like I need more time to get everything in. 


  1. For me, the answer is staking, automating, and delegating.

    By stacking, I mean when I work out (since I'm expecting again, I'm not working out, but when I DID) I listen to audiobooks. I don't watch TV and audiobooks are my primary source of personal entertainment. I also alternative audiobooks and relaxing music during my commute, although I don't have snow to contend with!

    I also stack friend time, when possible, with kiddo time, with the exception of a few nights a month when I have book club/girls night/etc.

    I automate everything humanly possible in my life from paying bills to vaccumming (Thanks roomba!)

    And I delegate big time. Housekeeper, gardener. I sometimes feel guilty, but for this stage of my life, it's survival!

    Hang in there!

  2. I agree with the other commenter. I found a gym that had a kids play room and paid extra to take him there after work or on my days off. I blog during lunch at work or after C goes to bed. I also took off Wednesdays so I could have a day to shop, clean, and get in friend/family time. When I want a date night or to go somewhere without C, I organize with family or hire a sitter to get some time.
    Its hard to balance it all.