I haven't posted for awhile. I haven't commented much lately either. I have been reading religiously and have had things I wanted to post about - I just, I dunno, feel that what I have to say isn't worthy enough? I'm not sure if that's the right term - words these days are hard to find.
Firstly, it is so incredible the fertility dust that has sprinkled over so many people. I'm so excited and overjoyed to read about so many people's successes. I pray and hope that these successes continue on and there isn't a wave of sorrow that follows it. I feel that all these Dragon Babies will be big and strong (although some will be 2013 babies...in my mind they are all Dragons). Please know if I am not commenting, I am so happy for you all!
In terms of where I'm at. Things are okay. The fear has subsided - for most of the days. I see that my belly has grown some so I can only believe that it means my baby is doing okay. The biggest compliment people can say is "Ooohh...you've got a bump!" Most days I just look like I've gained weight and not pregnant - but it is starting. I'm still not completely out of the closet. Once I past the first trimester, a huge wave of detachment came over me. I'm in complete disbelief that this is all really happening - so telling everyone freaks the hell out of me as I'm not ready for everyone's reactions and them seeing my fairly apathetic reaction. It is weird. Tuesday I see my OB and I'm sure they'll listen for the heartbeat. I hope, that after that I will have more attachment. But then again, throughout this entire process I've said "after this then..." and I wait for another milestone. I cannot wait to feel the baby so I can know it is in there healthy.
I am a bit upset by my fertility dr. When asked about my RPL blood work, she said everything came back normal. Well since I've graduated from her, she gave me all my test results to take to my OB. I took the tests to my natropath so she can look them over and my anti-bodies for Thyroid and DNA were high. Specifically thyroid. The test even advised to re-test in 4-6 weeks. This test was taken in the beginning of January. So I'm confused - why then when I asked about it, did she say everything was fine? If my anti-bodies for Thyroid and DNA were high, there is a reason why I miscarried 2 x. However, my natropath did say that auto-immune (which higher anti-bodies is) is also a sign of a gluten intolerance. So my natropath suggested I get my new OB to re-run a full thyroid panel and re-run these 2 tests to see if there is any change. If so, then it would indicate that gluten WAS a trigger for me and going gluten free has helped me not miscarry again. I just hope that everything is alright. Untreated hypothyroidism (which high antibodies for thyroid can indicate) can lead to developmental delays in a baby. So I need to be sure everything is fine.
Overall I'm feeling a lot better. Nausea has pretty much disappeared. The honeymoon period of pregnancy has set-in I guess! Will post again after Tuesday to update on how the appointment went!