Tomorrow is my last day of work until the holidays. It also happens to be my pregnant co-workers last.day.ever. Although she has only put in for her 1 year leave, she has told us that she wont be returning back to work - that she will be a stay at home mom. It hasn't hit me yet that she'll be gone for good. Words cannot express what an amazing person she is and how talented she is with the kids. I am so sad that she will be gone - and worst, I'm not leaving with her. Last year when we realized she was going, I was happy that I would be going too so that I wouldn't have to endure working without her. Now, she'll be gone for her baby - and there isn't a baby in the works for me yet - and I have to continue on. To top it all off, when we come back, we'll have someone in for about a week until the board does an internal shuffle and then we'll get someone totally new again. This will cause MASSIVE disruptions to my class causing me a great deal of stress.
All of this is making me feel so incredibly sorry for myself and so incredibly selfish at the same time. Instead of being happy for my co-worker who is about to embark on an amazing adventure - I'm sitting here sad for myself because my life is going to be turned upside down at work. I am angry that I will have to do more and delegate more because she is so amazing and over the last 2.5 years we have worked so well together she just knows what to do without me having to tell her. I'm upset that there is no way I can express all of my thoughts to her since I can't really speak to her much as I am too sad since loosing my second pregnancy. I do an okay job of covering up my hurt on a daily basis, but now loosing her, I feel like I should tell her everything but I don't know how. Maybe I'll give her a card? It is too late for a gift - I am not facing the stores 2 nights before Christmas now. Ugh sometimes everything just sucks!
I think a card would be lovely. For me, I always find it easier to write out what's in my heart than to say it. Gives me a chance to really express to the best of my ability what I'm feeling and it will allow her the opportunity to read without the message being lost in the hustle and bustle.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. It's clear you're close to this person and, as much as we like to believe it won't happen, not seeing her every day will change your relationship. It is an end of an era. And that's a sad thing.
I agree - def send a card. And really, you have every right to feel the way you do. As a fellow teacher with many pregnant co-workers, I can completely understand how you are feeling. It's going to be rough returning after the break, but who knows, maybe the person they replace her with will work out. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW and thanks for stopping by my blog! Ahh, the familiar feelings of self-pity and guilt... don't you just love IF? I hope you enjoy the holidays as much as you can, and that the new year brings you new, better, and happier things. xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it's going to be very rough for you after she leaves. I don't think you're selfish for feeling the way you do. I think a card would be great.
ReplyDeleteI did a card. I also bought her flowers from the class. At least I did something. Thanks for everyones kind word of encouragement. IF does suck!
ReplyDeleteHi! Found you on ICLW...I hope 2012 brings a better year for you! Maybe with the pregnant woman gone you can get some peace. Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that you are loosing this good person! Hoping that you'll be planning your maternity leave in 2012!
ReplyDeleteSounds like your co-worker is a great lady. Definitely let her know in some way how much you'll miss her and what her being your co-worker has meant. I'm sure she feels bad/sad that you aren't in the same place as her right now, but I bet she'd love to hear how much she means to you.
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW.