Saturday, March 24, 2012


Please-if you know me in real life, please keep what I'm about to say to yourself. Do not share this information with anyone else and do not talk to me about it until I'm ready to share the news. This is my space to vent and do with it as I need. Thank you for respecting my wishes.

Just thought I'd give a quick update.  

Spotting was a one time thing.  Not sure if I just aggravated my cervix with the progesterone applicator that morning or if it is a sign as to what's to come on Tuesday.

My nausea has kicked into high gear.  I usually throw up once or twice a day - while living in a constantly nauseous state all day long.  However, my breasts are not sore anymore. Not at all.  This is causing me some pretty high anxiety as the loss of this symptom in my last pregnancy made me think something was wrong.

I'd like to think that everything is okay.  With the ultrasound so close now, it is all becoming so real.  I'm so scared that it will result in another heart ache.  I haven't had any luck in the past with ultrasound appointments.  My last 3 have only given me bad news.  So I have no idea what a good news ultrasound will be like.  This scares the hell out of me.  

Hubby is home in 48 hours.  I can't wait for him to be here.  I'm also afraid that my body is just holding out until he's home to truly fall apart.  Like a miscarriage wouldn't happen while he's away, but then once he's home and I can relax, all hell will break loose.  

Or everything can be perfect and Tuesdays appointment will result in an amazingly positive, happy time for us.

I just have to focus on that right? 


  1. I'm keeping all digits crossed for you on Tuesday! May there only be tears of joy.

  2. Maybe you could put the suppositories in without the applicator so you can have a better idea of how far up it is? I don't use the applicator, but I don't know if we have the same pills.

    In any case, good luck on the ultrasound!!

    1. Mine is a gel that is inside the applicator - no way of getting it up there without using the applicator :(

      Great suggestion though!

  3. Glad to hear things are fine! Will be thinking of you on Tuesday. Stay relaxed (as much as you can) :)

  4. The nausea is a great sign, better than the boobs. My boobs only hurt when they're growing during pregnancy, so the pain is off and on, trust the nausea!

  5. Hoping and praying for good news today!