If you know me in Real Life - I am about to disclose information that is incredibly private. I have pondered for days on whether or not I should post this, as I know there are a few people I know that still read this blog. Please, Please respect me and my wishes to A) Keep what you read private and not share with anyone B) Not bring it up to me in ANY way shape or form. I will continue on believing that this is being shared with a wonderful IF community and not necessarily anyone I know. This space is for me to share my thoughts and feelings and I need not censor it for anyone. Thank you for respecting my wishes.
So I want to apologize for how boring my blog is probably going to become - especially those struggling through IF. I'm taking the cornfed feminist pledge and not apologizing for talking about my pregnancy - just apologizing for the lack of depth that it will probably entail the next 8 weeks as I get through this first trimester.
So, my natropath is amazing. She has done a lot of work dealing with infertility and is just an awesome person to be around. She is super supportive and has an incredible calming effect on me. Even though my insurance has minimal coverage, I told Hubby that I'm going to go and see her every week of my pregnancy for however long I need her for...regardless of when we run out of coverage. It feels like I'm actually 'doing' something to help get me through this pregnancy and have my take-home baby. Acupuncture helps with relaxation anyways :) I'm really so grateful to have found her. After talking with her for over an hour (unless she has someone else waiting, she doesn't kick you out), I feel much better about my pregnancy right now. She totally empathized with how I am feeling and understands why I would be a crazy lady about my symptoms.
Today's symptoms: fatigue is back. So much so that I took the afternoon off work. There was a no bus day today and I was so tired I just couldn't do any work. I figured since there were no kids, going to see my natropath early and then getting home for a nap will do me some good. Boobs have been somewhat sore today ... I think my constant checking is numbing them to the pain they feel. If I leave them alone for awhile, the tenderness comes back. If I check every 10 seconds, they don't seem to hurt. Go figure. I also have heartburn. This scares me some as I did have it the week leading up to the ultrasound that confirmed a blighted ovum last pregnancy (I didn't have it going into the first ultrasound), however I know it is a perfectly normal sign of pregnancy. Also - vivid dreams happening every night. I've yet to have a dream about loosing the baby or bleeding - which I had with the last 2...but with my first miscarriage that dream didn't come until later. Right now though these silly dreams are making me have a restless night sleep and waking me up far too early!
Today I am more hopeful. I am going to (not saying I have) resolve myself to the fact that symptoms may wax and wane and that I have to be okay with this.
Thanks for all your support!