I went back to work today. There is a scene in Spanglish where Adam Sandler and the nanny just admit they have feelings for one another and kiss. They both agree that when they leave the ledge they are sitting on, that life goes on as if the kiss never happens and they can never speak of that moment again. At which point, Adam Sandler says he wants to sit for a few minutes more before taking that leap. That's how I felt about going back to work. I know going back is good for me, that it will help me move on. However, going back means that life will go on and that it will be expected my sadness will fade away. Issues will come up that will take my brain power and will force me, even for a few moments, to forget about the pain of having this second miscarriage. I KNOW that this is all good, however, like Adam Sandler in the movie, I'm not quite ready to move on just. I know that sounds hard, even selfish. I wish I had the strength as I did before. I am sure as the days go on, the hurt will fade and I will find the strength I once had to continue this journey.
On the plus side, tomorrow is Friday and it is supposed to be a sunny day. Any day the sun is shining is a reason to rejoice! As we head into November, we have to be thankful for all the good weather we can get! Plus the weekend is supposed to be nice too.
Please leave a comment in the comment section - I would love to hear from you. Especially if you have been in the same situation. Sometimes I think I am going crazy - that the feelings I have aren't normal. Would love to gain some perspective.
Thanks for reading!