Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Dumpster Babies

I know I said I was going to be positive.  However, this story has been on my mind a lot and I figure it is worth writing about.  Last year, a Calgary man goes home to check on his sick girlfriend.  He hears a baby crying in the complex' dumpster and rescues it - only to find out later that it was his own baby.  The woman gave birth without telling him.  The woman has recently been charged and is linked to 2 other deaths in 2008 and 2009.  Now psychiatrists are saying that she may not be too blame as she was suffering from sever Postpartum depression. When I heard about this last year, I was dealing with infertility.  I was appalled that someone so thoughtless, someone who devalued life so much, was given the miracle of life to begin with.  You hear all the time of young teens, mother's addicted to crack and so much else, giving birth.  It angers me to no end!  Just as we were dealing with our second m/c, we found out that hubby's cousin had her kids taken away from her.  It is all very 'hush' 'hush' but word in the family is that drugs are possibly to blame.  Why can people who are undeserving to be parents, get pregnant with ease?  I know shouldn't judge whether or not someone is deserving, however, when a baby comes out addicted to crack, or has permanent brain damage from the mother drinking too much alcohol, I would say that the mother is undeserving.   If someone is so mentally unstable, postpartum or not,  that having a baby forces them to throw it in a dumpster - I would say she is undeserving of having a child.  It isn't fair that women who so desperately want to have a child, who would make such wonderful parents, can't.  It isn't right that families have to spend thousands of dollars just to conceive, while other women prostitute themselves for drugs, are able to get pregnant with ease.  Why did I have to loose both of my pregnancies, while there are women sticking themselves with knitting needles trying to end their unwanted pregnancies? Where's the equity in all of that?

Please don't think I'm blaming the women - although they could have taken some precautions to not get pregnant, they didn't necessarily ask for their situation as those suffering from loss and IF asked for theirs.  However, it just boggles my mind that they were ABLE to have the opportunity to get pregnant.  Why do the cosmic fates work that way?  It just doesn't make sense. 
In all of this my faith has really been shaken (a topic for another post).  However reading and hearing about stories like this, really make me question my faith even more. 

The article I"m talking about can be found at:

What are your thoughts?  How do you cope hearing about unfit mother's while you are striving to get pregnant?


  1. I know, it's so hard to see stories like that. Unbelievable. It's completely unfair, and it makes me feel better (and able to stop thinking about it) if I admit it's unfair and try to move on. So hard, though.

  2. This past summer, my mother and aunt tried to get me to adopt my cousin's child, after the state decided to remove the child from custody. When I explained to both parties that this was not a good idea, either for us (father has a history of violence) or for the child (this would be his chance for a fresh start), I was informed I was being selfish for not allowing the mother to be able to keep her child. See, adoption in this case would have simply been me acting as a babysitter till the mother finally got her act together and gave him back.

    Infertility is probably the best example about how unfair life is. There are so many deserving would-be parents out there who will be amazing parents who are living with infertility and there are also plenty of people who simply view their children as property and cash-machines. Heck, I know a pedophile who is perfectly fertile and, fortunately, locked away for a long time.

    My point is, being a parent is not defined by your ability to bear children. I've met too many children whose parents are not the ones who birthed them, but the ones who loved them, nurtured them and helped them grow to become amazing human beings. In addition, I really do believe that people who survive infertility (no matter the road to resolution) are far superior parents to those who can kick them out without a thought (think Duggars).

    In the meantime, I whole-heartedly agree with you about how sad and sick this situation is. I hope that child is placed in a home with people who will love them.

  3. It makes me ill. Also makes me wish everyone was born neutered and had to apply for fertility the same way you apply for a license. The fertility equivalent of parallel parking would be hard for a lot of people!

    Happy iclw to you, too!


  4. I think about this issue a lot. I see stories of this kind too often and I firmly believe that it is the ultimate form of unfairness.

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